[ That was what he was worried about. Ignoring his own pain he pushes himself to his feet to grab his brother before he collapses all the way, holding him up as the coughing turns into retching and-
Oh no, oh no no, it's spread. He knows it. His brother has coughed hard before but never this hard, with never this amount of blood.
He turns to Will, eyes wet and a little wild. He felt Wills aether or prana or whatever he wants to call it and knows he can't ask the other to continue using it so: ]
Are you able to take my aether? Calling upon the Eikons isn't using any, the curse isn't attached to it for me but Joshua's is. The more he uses, the more he loses. It doesn't come back, it doesn't replenish. But the blessing he gave me, we tried before and it... there was a connection but I can't direct it- Please-
[ Please. The only person Clive will ever beg for is in his arms, again. Because of him. Again. ]
[ The shove is enough for Will to almost topple over too, the sudden dizziness from too much prana usage making the world tilt. He can hear the brothers snapping at each other as if through water. Muffled and echo-y.
But that gagging sound he was waiting for starts, and he jerks his head up (too fast, black spots dancing on the edge of his vision), and rushes over, failing to fully avoid blood and vomit. The look in Clive's eyes is a bit terrifying in a way that the flashes of Ifrit have not been.
Desperation and need. For what he can or can not do. The deep scared part of him whimpers and tries to flee- no no he can't be responsible for if this man lives or dies. With Clive it had been too sudden, he acted on instinct. Just like he had when they fought the Wraiths together.]
... lookin' at me like that, how could I say no?
[ Damn it. Damn them both and his own weak heart. He's face is ashen with exhaustion, but he reaches out touch Clive's now flesh arm, resting his other hand on Josh's heaving back]
Jus'... do whatever it is that you say you did to connect. I'll figure it out from there.
[He's trying to sound confidant, and with so much practice he almost pulls it off. Almost]
[ Thankfully, the heaving doesn't last incredibly long, not nearly as much as the coughing does. Still, it leave his mouth sour and metallic, and the coughing is incessant. It's never been this bad. He pushed himself a little too hard in his panic, and he knows it. But if it meant that his brother didn't suffocate in front of him--
The physical strain of the coughing and retching and the emotional strain of what just happened combine, and the tears from before don't stop, streaming down his cheeks as he continues to cough. Clutching at Clive's chest, his brother's skin ends up getting the worst of the blood splatter - sorry - and he feels almost lightheaded from the gasping for breath he's being forced to do.
He can hear Clive begging Will over it all, and weakly, he tries to shake his head. No, no, Will has already strained himself, he'll be okay, he just needs time to calm the cough. But he knows it will fall on deaf ears... so he doesn't push it more than that. He and Clive are already touching - if Will wants to try it, he won't stop him. He can't. ]
[ This is going so very fucking wrong because of him, and Clive is willing to give up whatever he has to because of it. To make sure Joshua is all right. He doesn't care about the splatter on him, he's had worse and instead cradles Joshua carefully so his brother is as comfortable as possibly while the coughing wracks him.
Then reaches up to Will to take hold of him and tug him down against him too so they can rest physically while they do this.
Cause he knows it's probably going to fuck Will up something fierce.
Carefully he tries what he did earlier, calls the Phoenixs blessing to the surface and finds that connection. That connection that always told him the others were all right, because their Aether endured.
It truly is a blind push from Clive, he can't control this, just direct the Aether to well up. And the Phoenix's blessing is quite a lot.
[Probably a good thing he's sitting now, all three of their limbs a tangled bloody mess, because as soon as he feels the Phoenix in all it's glory instead of in passing? He knows this is gonna be an Experience.
'It's jus' prana, mate. You've been studying for this. It's fine'
But it sure doesn't feel like just prana. There is an Awareness that like before spooks the hell out of him. Though he'd take the familiar and warm bird over whatever THAT is deeper down he can swear is watching him.
It's fine it's fine, he is just the conduit, it won't be passing through him long. Even so he is very glad that he was born to Fall. Fire is his element, even if his skills in elemental magic are pretty shit. He reaches out, luring the aether up and through, trying to make sure most of it is going from one brother directly to the other. But there is no avoiding some of it washing over him.
He breaks out in a heavy sweat, panting like a dog as he works. But the Eikon seems to be flowing as intended- like going home.]
[ It's funny how the Phoenix calls for its own. It was a gift willingly given, and a gift willingly returned. This time, with direction, there isn't anything obstructing the journey.
As the warmth of aether - his aether, his body recognizes it, welcomes it, embraces it - washes through him, it's like weight is taken off of his lungs. The gasping cools to a soft, gentle wheeze, the pain in his lungs and abdomen easing to where it no longer making his head swim and his skin slick with cold sweat. Adrenaline still makes him tremble uncontrollably, but the coughing eases, no more than a strained tickle in his throat.
And, as the Phoenix-tinged aether passes through Will, it leaves a warm, soothing sensation behind. Easing his weariness, if only just a little bit. ]
[ And for Clive, it feels like something in himself diminishes. A long dear friend whose finally gone, leaving behind a cold spot in it's wake. Yet without it's tempering influence, Ifrits burns all the hotter, like it can cover that missing spot with itself.
As he feels Joshua beginning to relax in his arms he sighs, the sound shuddering with tears he's still shedding, and he hugs his brother tightly to him. Will isn't escaping from this, either. Because Clives arm goes around him and hugs him in too.
He has two arms again, he can do this. He can hug them both and let them rest on him because after what he put them through, it's the least he can offer. ]
[ That last bit of aether soothing him is very welcome, because he is pretty sure he would have fainted otherwise. For now he can't manage to squirm at being squished into the hug, his cat instinct annoyed by the pressure but also starting to purr under it]
Whadam'i 'poosed to do? Lookin' at me like a kick'd dog.
[Oh his accent has gone full exhaustion slurring. Rip]
[ Unfortunately, Joshua cannot contribute to the conversation. Not just because his throat is raw, but because it's all sapped him so much that he's barely hanging on to consciousness. He can't even truly open his eyes outside of a gentle flutter that won't stay open, but he can tell that Will is still speaking, that Clive is here and warm and alive.
That's all he needs to know. The warmth of the returning Phoenix aether lulls him into the deep sleep of exhaustion, going limp against his brother. ]
[ Joshua passing out and Will sounding like he's on his last leg makes him - not cry more though he wants to - push himself to his feet. Somehow? Somehow he manages to do this without letting either of them go, carefully shifting them as he moves from his knees and upwards, holding them both up.
He will shuffle the short distance to Will's bed and, as gently as possible, settle Will onto it. He hesitates and looks at his brother as he moves to cradle him, then to the bed, then to Will. ]
Let him stay here with you?
[ He's still in pain, his arm and neck throbbing like an infected open wound, but because of them both he's in far better health than either of them. Which means while they rest, he can clean up, he can watch over them, take care of them. Far easier to do it in one room. ]
[ His voice is soft as he lays his brother down beside Will, taking a moment to strip him out of his outer clothes to toss the bloodied things aside. Then tuck him and Will both in. He'd strip Will too but he might get bit for that. ]
[ And while they sleep, Clive cleans up. He doesn't worry about treading quietly, he doubts a herd of bighorns would wake either of them, but he does take care not to make too much noise. He mops first, to get the larger splatters up, then scrubs on his hands and knees so the blood doesn't set into Will's floor.
When it no longer looks like someone slaughtered a garrison in there, he will begin to pick up the things he knocked around with Garuda. Wills book gets set back, then Clive begins to gather notes and papers and try to make order of them.
When one of them finally wakes up, that's where they will find him. Sitting on the ground surrounded by notes, his legs folded comfortable, and his arms folded over his chest, his head bowed and his mouth open slightly.
Dead asleep, if the faint occasional snore is any indication.
He didn't even bother putting his shirt back on, they all got to be laundered anyways. ]
[Will wakes slowly, and finds himself tucked against another body. For a moment the last month seems a dream, and he's in some roadside inn with some pretty thing that thoguht he was just funny and charming enough. A little less lonely against the cold.
But after a few blurry blinks he recognizes Joshua- and for a breif moment of panic:
'Oh no, Clive is gonna kill me.'
But the memories of Clive knocking on his door and everything after start to come back. he feels a bit hungover, in his defence- prana exhaustion will do that to a bloke. And his stomache growls in protest.
He considers rolling back over, but the snores get his attention, and getting up on an elbow he spots Clive.]
Wha... seriously?
[he can't help but feel a bit fond at the sight. The room smells slightly of blood still, but not as bad as he would have expected. With a sigh he does roll over, but only to lightly shake Joshua awake]
Mornin' bird, time to get the worm. Breakfast, I mean. Or dinner. Whatever.
[ Will may have a rough time waking up, but trying to wake Joshua is like trying to wake a stone. The light shaking and speaking do at least bring his consciousness close to the surface, but only just. It then takes a moment for his consciousness to struggle to break through a thick layer of set gelatin to fully arise, and when it finally does and Joshua's eyelashes flutter, it's with a heavy groan of protest.
He feels like he's been run over by a whole herd of chocobos, and his mouth tastes like the floor of a bar after a wild night. When he does finally manage to open his eyes, the world feels bleary, vision blurred and his whole body aching. ]
Huh...?
[ His voice sounds roughly like a very creaky door hinge. ]
[Will looks pretty ruffled himself, but he's doing way better then Joshua- prana exhaustion is a bitch, but he didn't nearly die or anything like that]
[ Oh. He recognizes that voice. It's Will. Joshua blinks his eyes, trying and only partially succeeding to clear the blur from his vision. What is Will doing here...?
But then the memory of what happened hits him, and he sucks in a quick breath, pushing himself upright. ]
Clive--
[ But sucking in a breath and sitting up too quickly makes him cough again. At least it's a dry cough, no blood. ]
[ The hand on his shoulder grounds him, and Joshua turns where indicated. There on the floor sits Clive, dead to the world - even with his vision still sleep-blurred, he can tell who it is. ]
Oh.
[ Man, his voice sounds rough. But now it sounds watery - Clive is okay. It hadn't been a dream. Clive is okay.
Joshua lifts his hands to his face, rubbing it in an attempt to clear away the sleep, and absolutely not because he's worn ragged and his brother is okay. ]
[ There's plenty of need for it. If not for Will... Joshua couldn't have done it alone. The Phoenix couldn't have made a dent in what was going on. Clive would be dead, again, losing something else.
Emotions choke in Joshua's throat, and he reaches over to gently pull Will into a tight hug. It only lasts for a moment, but once he lets Will go, he takes him again - this time, his hands are on Will's temples, and he tips his head to press a kiss of gratitude to his forehead.
Not even thinking about it. He's just so overcome and grateful.
Once he's let Will go for good, he moves to get up from the bed - incredibly shaky, very weak, but he's doing his best. At least it isn't far to collapse to his knees next to Clive, putting his hands on his brother's arm. Flesh, again. No longer stone. ]
[The hug is less surprising after the first one, but the gentle head kiss makes him turn a dusty pink, his ears drooping and his tail wagging slightly against the sheets.
He doesn't say anything, sliding out of bed after Joshua but on the other side to go and get that now probably too warm water]
[ The touch doesn't wake him immediately, but it does stop the snoring with a soft snort. For a moment longer he simply sits there, breathing gently as his consciousness slowly rises back to the surface. It's sluggish feeling, like wading through waist high muck, but eventually he's aware enough to grumble a soft denial at waking up. Must he?
Then his eyes snap open as everything comes back in a rush. His stupidity, his brother's sacrifice, Will saving them both from themselves and each other. He stares at Joshua for a long moment, like he's not seeing him, then moves to pull him into a hard hug, trying to crush him as gently as possible. ]
[ As Clive looks at him, Joshua's smile crumples just a little, tears flooding his eyes all over again. They only break to roll down his cheeks as Clive is tugging him in, and he grips his brother's back tightly, tucking his face into his neck. ]
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I couldn't let you go again. I panicked, I--
[ His voice is thick, ragged, still rough from the coughing and the vomiting. ]
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timeasmymeasure
cw: emeto
Date: 2025-02-10 06:19 pm (UTC)Oh no, oh no no, it's spread. He knows it. His brother has coughed hard before but never this hard, with never this amount of blood.
He turns to Will, eyes wet and a little wild. He felt Wills aether or prana or whatever he wants to call it and knows he can't ask the other to continue using it so: ]
Are you able to take my aether? Calling upon the Eikons isn't using any, the curse isn't attached to it for me but Joshua's is. The more he uses, the more he loses. It doesn't come back, it doesn't replenish. But the blessing he gave me, we tried before and it... there was a connection but I can't direct it- Please-
[ Please. The only person Clive will ever beg for is in his arms, again. Because of him. Again. ]
cw: emeto
Date: 2025-02-10 06:26 pm (UTC)But that gagging sound he was waiting for starts, and he jerks his head up (too fast, black spots dancing on the edge of his vision), and rushes over, failing to fully avoid blood and vomit. The look in Clive's eyes is a bit terrifying in a way that the flashes of Ifrit have not been.
Desperation and need. For what he can or can not do. The deep scared part of him whimpers and tries to flee- no no he can't be responsible for if this man lives or dies. With Clive it had been too sudden, he acted on instinct. Just like he had when they fought the Wraiths together.]
... lookin' at me like that, how could I say no?
[ Damn it. Damn them both and his own weak heart. He's face is ashen with exhaustion, but he reaches out touch Clive's now flesh arm, resting his other hand on Josh's heaving back]
Jus'... do whatever it is that you say you did to connect. I'll figure it out from there.
[He's trying to sound confidant, and with so much practice he almost pulls it off. Almost]
cw: emeto
Date: 2025-02-10 06:45 pm (UTC)The physical strain of the coughing and retching and the emotional strain of what just happened combine, and the tears from before don't stop, streaming down his cheeks as he continues to cough. Clutching at Clive's chest, his brother's skin ends up getting the worst of the blood splatter - sorry - and he feels almost lightheaded from the gasping for breath he's being forced to do.
He can hear Clive begging Will over it all, and weakly, he tries to shake his head. No, no, Will has already strained himself, he'll be okay, he just needs time to calm the cough. But he knows it will fall on deaf ears... so he doesn't push it more than that. He and Clive are already touching - if Will wants to try it, he won't stop him. He can't. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 06:53 pm (UTC)Then reaches up to Will to take hold of him and tug him down against him too so they can rest physically while they do this.
Cause he knows it's probably going to fuck Will up something fierce.
Carefully he tries what he did earlier, calls the Phoenixs blessing to the surface and finds that connection. That connection that always told him the others were all right, because their Aether endured.
It truly is a blind push from Clive, he can't control this, just direct the Aether to well up. And the Phoenix's blessing is quite a lot.
Use it however you can, Will. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 07:02 pm (UTC)'It's jus' prana, mate. You've been studying for this. It's fine'
But it sure doesn't feel like just prana. There is an Awareness that like before spooks the hell out of him. Though he'd take the familiar and warm bird over whatever THAT is deeper down he can swear is watching him.
It's fine it's fine, he is just the conduit, it won't be passing through him long. Even so he is very glad that he was born to Fall. Fire is his element, even if his skills in elemental magic are pretty shit. He reaches out, luring the aether up and through, trying to make sure most of it is going from one brother directly to the other. But there is no avoiding some of it washing over him.
He breaks out in a heavy sweat, panting like a dog as he works. But the Eikon seems to be flowing as intended- like going home.]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 07:22 pm (UTC)As the warmth of aether - his aether, his body recognizes it, welcomes it, embraces it - washes through him, it's like weight is taken off of his lungs. The gasping cools to a soft, gentle wheeze, the pain in his lungs and abdomen easing to where it no longer making his head swim and his skin slick with cold sweat. Adrenaline still makes him tremble uncontrollably, but the coughing eases, no more than a strained tickle in his throat.
And, as the Phoenix-tinged aether passes through Will, it leaves a warm, soothing sensation behind. Easing his weariness, if only just a little bit. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 07:30 pm (UTC)As he feels Joshua beginning to relax in his arms he sighs, the sound shuddering with tears he's still shedding, and he hugs his brother tightly to him. Will isn't escaping from this, either. Because Clives arm goes around him and hugs him in too.
He has two arms again, he can do this. He can hug them both and let them rest on him because after what he put them through, it's the least he can offer. ]
Thank you, Will... thank you.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 07:34 pm (UTC)Whadam'i 'poosed to do? Lookin' at me like a kick'd dog.
[Oh his accent has gone full exhaustion slurring. Rip]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 07:40 pm (UTC)That's all he needs to know. The warmth of the returning Phoenix aether lulls him into the deep sleep of exhaustion, going limp against his brother. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 07:45 pm (UTC)He will shuffle the short distance to Will's bed and, as gently as possible, settle Will onto it. He hesitates and looks at his brother as he moves to cradle him, then to the bed, then to Will. ]
Let him stay here with you?
[ He's still in pain, his arm and neck throbbing like an infected open wound, but because of them both he's in far better health than either of them. Which means while they rest, he can clean up, he can watch over them, take care of them. Far easier to do it in one room. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 07:47 pm (UTC)Hm..? Yeh, yeh.
[he waves a hand in what is PROBABLY agreement, not even looking up]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 07:51 pm (UTC)[ His voice is soft as he lays his brother down beside Will, taking a moment to strip him out of his outer clothes to toss the bloodied things aside. Then tuck him and Will both in. He'd strip Will too but he might get bit for that. ]
Sleep, you more than earned it...
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 08:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 08:20 pm (UTC)When it no longer looks like someone slaughtered a garrison in there, he will begin to pick up the things he knocked around with Garuda. Wills book gets set back, then Clive begins to gather notes and papers and try to make order of them.
When one of them finally wakes up, that's where they will find him. Sitting on the ground surrounded by notes, his legs folded comfortable, and his arms folded over his chest, his head bowed and his mouth open slightly.
Dead asleep, if the faint occasional snore is any indication.
He didn't even bother putting his shirt back on, they all got to be laundered anyways. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 08:51 pm (UTC)But after a few blurry blinks he recognizes Joshua- and for a breif moment of panic:
'Oh no, Clive is gonna kill me.'
But the memories of Clive knocking on his door and everything after start to come back. he feels a bit hungover, in his defence- prana exhaustion will do that to a bloke. And his stomache growls in protest.
He considers rolling back over, but the snores get his attention, and getting up on an elbow he spots Clive.]
Wha... seriously?
[he can't help but feel a bit fond at the sight. The room smells slightly of blood still, but not as bad as he would have expected. With a sigh he does roll over, but only to lightly shake Joshua awake]
Mornin' bird, time to get the worm. Breakfast, I mean. Or dinner. Whatever.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 09:15 pm (UTC)He feels like he's been run over by a whole herd of chocobos, and his mouth tastes like the floor of a bar after a wild night. When he does finally manage to open his eyes, the world feels bleary, vision blurred and his whole body aching. ]
Huh...?
[ His voice sounds roughly like a very creaky door hinge. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 09:21 pm (UTC)[Will looks pretty ruffled himself, but he's doing way better then Joshua- prana exhaustion is a bitch, but he didn't nearly die or anything like that]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 09:29 pm (UTC)But then the memory of what happened hits him, and he sucks in a quick breath, pushing himself upright. ]
Clive--
[ But sucking in a breath and sitting up too quickly makes him cough again. At least it's a dry cough, no blood. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 09:31 pm (UTC)He's fine, look.
[He points to the floor, and Clive snoring away. Looking around he spots his water pitcher... too far away to get from bed. Annoying]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 09:42 pm (UTC)Oh.
[ Man, his voice sounds rough. But now it sounds watery - Clive is okay. It hadn't been a dream. Clive is okay.
Joshua lifts his hands to his face, rubbing it in an attempt to clear away the sleep, and absolutely not because he's worn ragged and his brother is okay. ]
Will... Thank you...
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 09:45 pm (UTC)[he looks away, rubbing the back of his head. This sleepy and ragged he can't hide the shyness at the open gratitude]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 09:55 pm (UTC)Emotions choke in Joshua's throat, and he reaches over to gently pull Will into a tight hug. It only lasts for a moment, but once he lets Will go, he takes him again - this time, his hands are on Will's temples, and he tips his head to press a kiss of gratitude to his forehead.
Not even thinking about it. He's just so overcome and grateful.
Once he's let Will go for good, he moves to get up from the bed - incredibly shaky, very weak, but he's doing his best. At least it isn't far to collapse to his knees next to Clive, putting his hands on his brother's arm. Flesh, again. No longer stone. ]
Clive... Brother, wake up.
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 10:05 pm (UTC)He doesn't say anything, sliding out of bed after Joshua but on the other side to go and get that now probably too warm water]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 10:18 pm (UTC)Then his eyes snap open as everything comes back in a rush. His stupidity, his brother's sacrifice, Will saving them both from themselves and each other. He stares at Joshua for a long moment, like he's not seeing him, then moves to pull him into a hard hug, trying to crush him as gently as possible. ]
I'm sorry.
[ His voice is soft and wet again. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-02-10 10:23 pm (UTC)I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I couldn't let you go again. I panicked, I--
[ His voice is thick, ragged, still rough from the coughing and the vomiting. ]
Please don't do that again. Please.
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